"what if i'm also grieving something personal?"

hello, friends. i've been chatting about grief and grief work a lot lately — but today i wanted to address a few of the most frequent questions that i've gotten about river styx, my upcoming collective grief container that begins on october 4th.

reminder that if you've got questions you want answered, or are trying to figure out if river styx is a good fit for you, i'm always happy to chat via email — and i'm also hosting a river styx open house tomorrow. no presentation and no pressure, just a chance to talk about the program in a chill environment.

by far the most popular question i've gotten about river styx is: "what if i'm also grieving something personal? if this container is focused on collective grief, what do i do with my personal grief?"

to which i say: oh, friend. your grief has a home here, whatever shape it takes.

the framework that river styx is built on and oriented around is indeed a collective grief framework. which is to say, that feeling of "oh my fucking god, the whole world is on fire and everything is so bad, will the horrors never cease, how are we supposed to just keep carrying on???????" — this is what river styx is focused on, and what the framework was designed to help you navigate.

and — everyone also has personal grief. your grief over the losses you've experienced, the dreams that have withered and died on the vine, the hopes you had for your future, the relationships that have disappointed you, the loneliness you thought you'd have escaped by now, and so much more — these griefs are also so very welcome in river styx.

i stress the collective grief aspect of this work and this container simply because there are generally less resources out there for navigating this particular kind of overwhelming, all-encompassing, everybody is holding this grief. but we talk about personal grief a lot within the discord, within the live sharing spaces, and within the work itself. there is a week where we specifically address the ways that personal grief intersects with and tangles up in collective grief, which is an essential part of the process.

your personal grief is not something you have to check at the door for river styx. and — learning how to make a companion of your collective grief, practicing sitting with it and tending to it and walking alongside it, can also help you hold space for your personal grief.

the beauty of river styx is that you get to do it in tandem with other people. grief of all kinds can feel lonely, but there is a particularly haunted feeling around collective grief, especially if you don't have people in your life who are also experiencing it. river styx lets us do it together, step by step.

another question i've been getting is: "what if i don't have a lot of time for grief work? what if i can't make the live calls, or don't spend a lot of time in discord, or fall behind on the weekly lessons? what if i can't stick with it?"

to which i say, as i have said many times and i will continue to say again and again: there is no such thing as behind in my spaces and in my resources.

this work has no timetable, no expectations, no finish line. it is not a thing you complete, it is simply a thing you begin and return to as you can. things take the time they take, as mary oliver wrote, and grief work is no exception.

it's a ten week container simply because there are ten steps in the good grief network's framework that underpins the program — not because everyone is going to be expected to do this work for ten straight weeks, or because after ten weeks you'll be magically "cured" of your grief.

i specifically designed this program to be able to be integrated into busy, stressful, ever-changing lives of grievers around the world. over the course of ten weeks things will happen, in your personal life and in our collective world, that will need to be handled, addressed, navigated, and perhaps even grieved. this program isn't meant to get in the way of that — it's meant to support you through it.

river styx is, by design, a program you can (and should!) engage with on your own time, in your own way, and at your own pace. you have lifetime access to the course materials and lifetime access to our private grief discord server, which means that you can take as long as you want to work through them, and can visit them again and again. we also have accountability channels and regular check-ins, to help you stay engaged.

this program will help you understand ways that you can engage with your grief that only take a few minutes, and won't consume your whole day or derail your whole week. the point here is not to treat this as a ten-week intensive — it's to begin tending your grief in an ongoing way, bit by bit, until it's as natural for you as breathing, with plenty of built-in support.

the discord and the five live sharing sessions are fully optional spaces that you can participate in as much or as little as you like. there's no pressure or expectation to speak often or offer wildly personal details if you don't want to. and, also, it never ceases to amaze me how even small, brief shares in those spaces helps everyone to feel significantly less alone, less despondent, less overwhelmed. this work is best done in community, which is why we do this together — you'll have people who are in this with you, no matter how long it takes you to move through the lessons.

one final question that i've seen a lot: "i'm scared that my grief is too heavy, too overwhelming, too exhausting — and that engaging with it will cost me too much."

friend, i hear you, and i see you, and i get it. i have been there. it can feel like grief is this ocean that lives inside of us, and that we can't touch the surface without getting dragged down to the very bottom.

and — the purpose of this work, the point of grief work, is to teach you how to navigate the waters of your grief without drowning. i wrote you a whole essay about this. river styx and my approach to grief work in general is that by building a relationship with your grief, by understanding the shapes it takes and the needs it carries, by learning to walk alongside your grief instead of treating it like a burden you have to carry, you can actually find more ease in your real life.

we don't dive to the bottom of our grief. we instead dip our toes in the water, get used to the temperature, get comfortable on the bank of the river. we observe how the currents move, honor the rough patches and the depths we can't measure, and notice what's beautiful about the grief we see. and over time, with practice and consistency and care, we learn how to wade into the waters, how to find the flow, and how to move with and through our grief.

eventually, we can choose when to swim, when to dive, and when to float. we can talk to our grief, comfort our grief, even allow our grief to comfort us. we fall in love with our grief, learn to see it and care for it as a beloved part of ourselves, and treat it with compassion and dignity.

this i can promise: the more you do this work, the less overwhelming your grief will feel — and the more you'll have energy and optimism and hope to devote to the things that matter to you, the parts of your life that you want to be fully present for. you'll have the drive and courage to show up for the work, to get more involved in action items, to make the kinds of changes you want to see in your neighborhoods and communities.

i want you to feel like yourself again. i want you to be as brave and strong and creative and magical and driven and focused and alive as you know how to be. i want you to be the tenderhearted badass that i know you are. river styx can make it possible.

let's tend our grief for the world together, and come out stronger on the other side.

still got questions? come hang out in my river styx open house tomorrow, or send me an email. if you're in my discord, you can also shoot me a DM anytime. i'd be so happy to help you figure out if river styx is a good fit for you, or if there's another resource (mine or someone else's) that might be more supportive for you right now.

sending you so much love, so much courage, so much tenderness. you and your grief are a gift, and i'm grateful for you both.

river styx is for tenderhearted badasses who want to believe in the future again. if you want to learn how to transmute your grief for the world into bold action and fierce hope — without drowning in overwhelm, helplessness, or fear — then this is the program for you.

this is a ten-week, self-paced, resilience-oriented community grief container that includes:

• original audio lessons (including transcripts) delivered straight to your inbox each week, based on the tried-and-true ten-step framework developed by good grief network’s laura schmidt and aimee lewis reau
• recommended tarot cards to work with alongside your lessons, along with new spreads and accessible exercises for tarot readers of any level
• journaling prompts for personal reflection, introspection, and discovery
• suggested somatic exercises to stay grounded, stable, and present
• a library of resources for creating your own personal support plan
• a private digital discord community for sharing, encouragement, and ongoing support
• accountability tools for helping you continue to show up to the work
• five live zoom meetups for checking in and practicing community building
• lifetime access to course content and our co-created grief community
• the flexibility to engage with lessons based on your own schedule and timeline, along with gentle reminders to honor your capacity and personal needs

the program costs $666 or three monthly payments of $222 — and anyone who pays in full will get an exclusive tarot reading from me during our ten weeks together!

river styx is open for enrollment right now. doors close october 3rd, and river styx officially begins with the first email lesson on october 4th, 2026. got questions? join me on october 1st for a free, no-pressure open house, or email me anytime.

let’s tend our grieving hearts together.