november 2026: falling in (and out of) love with tarot

hello, friends. welcome to november.

we spent a lot of this year exploring the suit of cups, but in these final two months, i want to offer some broader tarot-related food for thought, insights and ideas and spreads and resources that can help you think more critically about your relationship with the cards, what you want from your tarot practice, and what it means to love something honestly, openly, authentically.

after all, the suit of cups isn't just about our relationships with other people. it's also about our connections with our selves, our tools, our intuition, our emotions, and our magic. and thinking about our work with the tarot as a relationship, and our readings as conversations, can really help to build intimacy, trust, and reciprocity with our cards.

if you love this framing, and want support in thinking more critically about your own relationship with the tarot, i'd love to invite you to join my upcoming workshop couples counseling: tarot edition on november 22nd!

if you've ever fallen in love, romantically or platonically, you know that love often goes through a few different stages. they're not linear or universal, some of them might last longer than others, and not everybody experiences every phase — but for the sake of this conversation about relationships, i'm going to share some significant parts of falling in love that feel classic, common, and relatable.

in no particular order:

crushing hard / honeymoon phase: you can't stop thinking about someone, everything is exciting and new, you feel electric and turned on and eager and can’t wait to keep getting to know this person, always finding ways to mention them or ask about them or tell people about them

going steady / getting serious: consistently connecting, learning how to be vulnerable and intimate, building trust, navigating conflict, investing more time and energy into each other

upping the ante / spicing things up: trying new things out together, pushing limits or taking some risks, putting yourself out there, asking for what you want even if it's unexpected or uncommon, bringing in a third for play or intimacy or whatever, the fun kind of friction

taking a break / on the rocks: having different needs or having needs that are not being met, struggling to find commonalities or shared language, small ruptures in trust or communication or resources, the less-fun kind of friction

making it official / leveling up: making declarations or public acknowledgements of your relationship, ceremonies or weddings or just using a meaningful label (partner or bestie or spouse, etc), becoming exclusive in some way

calling it quits / moving on: breaking up, separation or divorce or moving out, cutting ties, stepping back from the level of intimacy you've been at, saying goodbye in a way that is permanent or legal or both, honoring what you may have outgrown or the ways in which you are no longer compatible

there are plenty more stages and shifts that are possible within relationships — i even wrote a whole series of tarot spreads on romance tropes, many of which are relationship moments or dynamics that can also apply to platonic relationships. but i like thinking about these particular stages because they can very easily be applied to our relationship with the tarot, too.

what does it really look like to fall in (or out) of love with the tarot?

let's look at these stages again, this time more specifically through the lens of tarot:

crushing hard / honeymoon phase: early or experimental readings, pulling cards all the time about literally anything you can think of, soaking up knowledge, feeling electric and hungry and anticipatory, talking about the cards all the time or bringing things back to tarot constantly

going steady / getting serious: going deeper in readings, learning how to navigate conflict, creating patterns and routines and rituals together, buying new decks or investing in new resources or joining new study groups

upping the ante / spicing things up: trying new things out in readings, taking some chances or risks or big swings, bringing in a third (aka other tools or techniques or people), testing the waters or pushing the limits of what is possible with tarot

taking a break / on the rocks: getting confused by readings, getting frustrated by plateaus, trying techniques that aren’t landing, feeling like you can’t trust your cards or like you’re missing something, considering or reconsidering boundaries, navigating friction with space

making it official / leveling up: reading for other people or going pro, coming out of the tarot closet in a big way, teaching or hosting tarot events, making tarot something beyond a personal hobby or private practice

calling it quits / moving on: deciding to say goodbye to tarot for the long-term or permanently, falling in love with another divination method in a way that has you questioning your work with tarot, relying on the cards less and less, feeling like you’ve outgrown your practice or need a major change

just like in our relationships with people, places, ideas, beliefs, dreams, mistakes, and values, our relationship with the tarot can look a lot of ways — and can change and grow and shift over time.

in all kinds of loving relationships, people can and do want different things, or feel more delight in different parts of the process.

some people love the electric high of getting to know someone new and discovering who they are; others ache for the casual intimacy and non-verbal communication of a years-long connection. some people feel that the passion of tension or conflict is what keeps a bond captivating; others find steadiness and reliability wildly sexy in partners and friends. some people want to talk or touch or connect on a daily basis; others crave solitude and getting to choose when they come together with those they love. some people want to have a lot of close connections with a lot of different people that might look a lot of different ways; others prefer to only be truly intimate with a few people at a time.

and the thing is, there's nothing wrong with any of this! people get to have preferences! relationships are fluid by nature!

...and all of this also applies to tarot!

what actually matters here is less where you are and more how you feel about where you are. are you at a stage in your relationship with the tarot that feels really good and comfortable for you? or are you at a place in your tarot practice that is challenging you, disrupting your internal narratives, or forcing you to consider what you truly want from your tarot relationship?

i lay all of this out in so much detail because in my time as a tarot teacher, i've witnessed so many people expressing fear or concern or regret about so many aspects of their tarot practice: how often they're reading, how deep their readings go, how certain they are about their own interpretations, or how long they've been working with tarot. it's so common for people to worry that they're not "doing it right," or aren't advancing quickly enough, or aren't making their readings complex enough, or are somehow missing a major or important aspect of being a tarot reader.

and listen, i really fucking get it. imposter syndrome is real, and so many of our societies want us to doubt ourselves or our magic or our skills. they benefit from us downplaying our natural abilities, and from us expecting ourselves to be perfect right away. it's so easy to say that we've "only been reading for [x amount of weeks/months/years]" or that we "only do single-card readings" or we "have to use the guidebook every time" or whatever. it's so effortless for us to dismiss what we do, even if we've been doing it for decades.

you're still a tarot reader, even if you've been reading for three weeks with one card at a time, and also if you've been reading for fifteen years on and off and still use references for every reading. your relationship with the cards counts, no matter what stage of the relationship you're in or what preferences you have about how you practice.

you don't have to apologize for using resources and references, for not reading every single day, for not pulling ten cards every time you do a reading. you don't have to minimize your tarot practice just because you have no desire to read for others or go pro. you don't have to feel ashamed that your connection to the cards looks or feels different than someone else's, especially if what you have is really working for you. you don't have to shrink your connection to the cards or make excuses for your practice for literally any reason at all.

i am begging you, here in november 2026, as someone living in a genocidal nation where wildly mediocre white men hold a tremendous amount of power for no discernible reason, to stop denying what you do just because it doesn't look like what someone else does.

you get to have the tarot practice that you want to have, and the tarot relationship that want to have, without apology. full stop.

as we move into this new month, and as we may start to consider the upcoming new year, i want to encourage you to really think about what your relationship with the tarot looks like right now — what it feels like, what it offers, how you're tending it, and what it might be missing. where it started, where it is in this moment, and where it might be going or growing.

ask yourself: what feels good in how you work with your cards right now? what do you love, what do you crave, what do you celebrate? what are you proud of? what is inspiring, satisfying, supportive, engaging, entrancing?

and what might feel a little sticky, a little spicy, a little strange in your current tarot practice? where is there uncomfortable friction or questions that need answering or something you are ready to tackle in a more intentional way? what isn't working, even if it used to work just fine? and what do you long for, that you might be ready to declare or pursue or change?

your tarot relationship and practice gets to be whatever you want.
so — what do you want?

wishing you a november filled with magic, connections, and authenticity, friends.

and if you're interested in exploring your tarot relationship more intentionally, if you could use support in building the kind of tarot practice you're dreaming about, i'd love to invite you to my upcoming workshop couples counseling: tarot edition, which is available as a standalone experience or as part of my hermitage membership program. click here to learn more and snag your spot.