for hope in the face of fear

oh, friends. i have to admit that i am struggling.

if you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know that i’m not a love-and-light kind of witch, or writer, or person in general. i love tarot because it calls me on my bullshit, forces me to see the truth, allows me to recognize where i’m fucking up and helps me figure out how to fix it. i value clarity, honesty, real talk. i want to see reality for what it is, want to know real motivations, want to dig to the heart of the issue and honor the shadows that lurk within each of us.

but now, right now, in september of 2020, in the worst astrology of an already hideous year, after four years of a nightmare presidency that is on a slippery slope into facism, after watching so many flawed institutions and inspirational fighters crumble, after feeling so much of our hope fade away - what is there to say? in so many ways, we are constantly being forced to see our country clearly, its deep racism and endless capacity for hatred, its flaws and darkness and rich history of bigotry. the truth is in front of us, screaming loudly, demanding our attention. so what does my desire for clarity and honesty offer us right now? how can i encourage you, help you find wisdom and strength, remind you of your magic, without giving you platitudes or bullshit?

the truth is, i’m not sure that i can. i don’t know what to do, and as the world burns around me my personal life is also undergoing a massive shift. what i can do is tell you to keep wearing your masks, to keep socially distancing, to try to keep your bodies and minds as safe as possible with therapy and community and intentional rest. i can tell you to protest, to sign petitions, to donate to the most important races for the senate. i can tell you to vote, to encourage everyone you know to vote, to extend time and resources to make sure that those who might struggle to access the polls have ways to vote. i can tell you to call your representatives, to stand outside courthouses, to give politicians hell and remind them who they work for.

but does that make you feel any better, really? does it feel authentic, grounded, productive? does it honor your emotions, your trauma, your understandable fear and anger and exhaustion? do you feel held, seen, understood? i don’t know.

what i do have you for you is a reading, using a spread that i wrote earlier this year. i may not have the answers, but i can point you to the tarot and the wisdom of the universe, remind you of the power and magic of your own intuition. it’s not much, but it’s what i have. my wish is that this quick community reading gives you a little bit of healing, a little bit of hope. i offer you a little bit of my heart, a shred of the magic that i have left within me, and hope it helps you find yours.

something beautiful you’ve forgotten: the muse of inspiration. known as the king of wands in other decks, this figure of fire is confident and courageous, eager to create and destroy, ready to make their mark. there is such beauty in this kind of raging inferno, but there is also magic in the tiny sparks of inspiration that grow and shift, the glowing embers that stay hot long after the flames are gone. sometimes we forget just how infectious our power can be, how working on a big idea or positive vision of the future can galvanize not just us but everyone around us. there’s a sense of electricity in the air when this muse appears, a vitality and joy that thrums through our blood. what makes you feel alive, awake, invigorated? what makes your soul sing? where can you take action?

something magical you should embrace: four of emotions. water and the heart can be difficult to control, yet with the four of cups, we see someone that is trying to put boundaries around their emotions, someone that is spending so much time dreaming of what might be out there that they take what they have for granted. there is rich magic in community and chosen family, in being willing to be vulnerable, in opening ourselves up to true connection. how can you embrace your natural desire to protect yourself, while still remembering gratitude? what good things have you gotten bored with, and where can you allow yourself to experience joy, pleasure, and real intimacy?

something useful you can do or offer: knight of inspiration. back to the suit of wands, the knight is charismatic and memorable, lighting the world up with ideas, energy, and excitement. even if you don’t feel like you’re ready to be a muse of inspiration just yet, the knight is always seeking out adventure, thrills, new chances to take. where can you shake things up? what risks have you been avoiding, and what opportunities might you seize? there’s a difference between recklessness and passion, and finding the balance can help you loosen up, laugh and play, start running towards something magical. what is your soul eager to explore?

these three cards speak of potential, pleasure, and passion, urging us as a collective to remember what our dreams have inspired within us. if you feel stagnant or stuck, if you’ve been overlooking a window of opportunity, this may be the time to embrace your natural wildness and start moving towards your biggest ambitions. fire and water are both deeply personal elements, speaking to our heart and soul, the things that resonate and drive us. what do you long for? what do you crave? what lights you up inside, stirs your spirit, urges you forward? where might it be time to take a risk instead of guarding your heart too closely?

sometimes the best way to find hope is to believe that it’s there, even if we can’t feel it. you can’t fix every single broken thing alone, yet if you can tap back into your natural light, the magic that you carry within yourself, hope can begin to spark anew. try not to let those overpowering, watery emotions drown out your fire - this is a time to find balance, to let the shift from virgo to libra help you find grounding and innovation, places to grow and expand. let your passions and visions and fantasies inspire you, remind you how to connect to those you love, allow you to transform in ways you’ve only dreamed of.

what is giving you hope these days? where are you finding pleasure, power, inspiration? what is helping you dream? where are you turning for comfort? dear friends, i hope you can find a bit of light, a bit of magic, a bit of rest in the midst of all this grief. and if you’re able to find a spark of potential, don’t be afraid to feed it. let your fire burn wild, and see what emerges from the ashes.

images in this post are from the muse tarot. all photographs created by meg jones wall.