july 2023: a moment to breathe

hello friends, and welcome to july.

if you've been following me on social media, you may know that over the last few months, my partner and i have been in the midst of a monumental struggle to find safe, affordable housing before our previous lease ran out. the nyc real estate market is brutal even at the best of times, but this search has been one of the worst i've ever experienced. we've spoken to dozens of real estate brokers, inquired about over one hundred units, toured twenty different apartments, and gone through a full application process with several potential homes. we've called in favors, chased vague leads, shared our woes with friends and strangers, and cried. a lot.

but. on the summer solstice, as the sun moved into cancer, during the longest day of the year, we finally managed to secure a beautiful space to call ours — and as you read this, we are actively moving into that new apartment, making it a home, finding our footing again.

our previous place was such a disaster that it's almost hard to believe so many things could go wrong in one compact, two-bedroom apartment. we've had thousands of dollars worth of property damage, walls removed by management with no warning, multiple pipe bursts, black mold, smelly HVAC, broken appliances, windows that leak every time it rains, condescending landlords, meetings with housing lawyers, rejected insurance claims, dozens of calls to 311... it seemed that we could never catch a break, that every single thing was a challenge, that we'd never manage to escape the chaos. looking back, it's frankly a miracle that i managed to write anything at all over the past year.

yet finally getting to be in a home that's clean and quiet and spacious and dry, with fresh air and working appliances and friends around the corner, with room to write and think and breathe, feels transformational. and over the coming weeks, as we find our groove in our new home, i truly cannot wait to see what emerges.

my creativity has been utterly drained by this long, exhausting process. i've had so many projects and classes and offerings just waiting on the back burner, patiently simmering until i can give them my full attention. and i truly can't wait to start creating again, to give these ideas form, to share them with you.

finally, after an intensely difficult first half of 2023, i'm finding some ease.

with all of this in mind, it may come as no surprise to you that this month's planned essay on the moon is nowhere near finished, and i will instead share it (along with the corresponding spread for bronze/gold subscribers) in august. i know that a number of new folks have found and followed me here after my autostraddle resignation, and i hope you all understand this unplanned but necessary pause. thank you for being here, and for your compassion!

in the meantime, i've linked some of my favorite recent essays, spreads, projects, and collaborations here for you to explore:

-the aquarean podcast: don't miss my recent chat with vanessa about tarot, numerology, cycles, stories, spirituality, and SO much more!
-good sigil collaboration: the fool pendant & spread collection
-finding the fool: a tarot journey to radical transformation
-on 2023's cancer season
-on the strangeness of hope: or, the star
-on fault lines: or, the tower
-on hauntings & honesty: or, the devil
-a spread for seeing the self clearly
-everyday fools 28-day email course
-3am.tarot on etsy
-3am.tarot on bookshop
-3am.tarot on tiktok
-3am.tarot on instagram

i also want to mention that my brilliant partner is brewing up something gorgeous that you are not going to want to miss, something that i personally am in desperate need of. her venus retrograde cloister is going to be restorative, joyful, and nourishing, so make sure you're following her on IG and subscribed to her substack for more information. i'll be there, and i hope you will be too.

wishing you a joyful, relaxing, celebratory july, friends. more soon.