hello, friends. if you follow me on twitter, you likely already know that my partner jeanna has been in the hospital for over a week now, and i have been by her side as much as physically possible. everything is on pause: reading, writing, working on books, holiday celebrations, planned travel. right now, we’re breathing minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. everything is measured in vital signs and lab results.
it’s oddly appropriate for the start of winter: the quiet, the stillness, the patience. we listen, we reflect, we hope. we invite healing. we wait for the light to grow.
today is jeanna’s birthday. and although i’d planned to write my usual piece exploring the energy between the seasons, my mind and body are exhausted, distracted, scattered. i don’t have many words to offer, don’t have many gifts to give. instead, i’d like to direct you to my thoughts on temperance and the devil from last year, to my autostraddle tarotscopes for capricorn season, as well as to jeanna’s beautiful reflections on the winter solstice. i hope you find some magic to ponder, some wisdom to explore, some joy to hold.
capricorn tends to be associated with growth, ambition, success, planning, organization. yet the winter solstice, and winter itself, is a season for stillness and quiet, for hibernation, for contemplation. it’s a chance to invite in real rest, true healing - not simply so that we can be more productive later, but so that we can come back to ourselves, find our center, remember what truly matters. in balancing productivity and rest, in listening to our desires as well as our needs, we discover what we truly value, what we deeply crave. and as jeanna and i sit in the hospital, hoping that our yule wishes will come true and she’ll be able to go home, we’re both longing for control, for clarity, for calm.
as we step into this new season, carry forward the curiosity of sagittarius, and the wisdom of temperance: the generosity, the observation, the trust and joy in the things we do not understand. hold fast to the dedication of capricorn, and the lessons of the devil: the reminders to slow down, to trust what we know, to honor our wisdom instead of being driven by fear. what does it mean to be in control, and to surrender that control? what do we learn about ourselves when we feel trapped, powerless, uncertain? how do we balance wild curiosity and the magic of chaos with purpose, devotion, and structure?
i know. the world is so fucking scary right now. i know that it feels like we’re being failed in every way, by every system, by every leader. i know that it’s hard to remember how things used to be, that seems impossible to grasp any hope for a brighter future.
yet in giving our minds, our bodies, our spirits, time to recover, the space we need to grieve and cry and sleep, our hearts can heal, can start to remember how to dream again. as we move into capricorn season, try to release the need to grow and thrive and produce and instead give yourself the gift of observation, of stillness, of feeling your feelings. how can you be present? what is your fear teaching you? what have you avoiding examining, and which truths reveal themselves when you slow down? in looking at the sky, in focusing on the stars, which gifts are within reach? and are you brave enough to accept them, to cherish them, to use them?
blessed solstice and happy capricorn season, friends.
images from this post feature cards from the 8th house tarot. all photographs by meg jones wall.