rebellion for rule-followers

hello, friends. with my next tarot study container kicking off this wednesday, i've been thinking a lot about why rebellion, disruption, and breaking rules is so important — particularly for those of us who feel deeply invested in being good, being obedient, being polite, or being safe at all costs.

why is rebellion useful? what makes rebellion a valuable skill for everyone? why is rebellion such a struggle for so many of us? in what ways can practicing consistent rebellion help to disrupt fascist regimes and authoritarian institutions?

and what does any of this have to do with tarot?

first of all, the great news is that the entire story of the major arcana could be considered a story of rebellion — at least through one lens, in one version, if you want it to. the fool is one of the ultimate tarot rebels, a disruptor and destabilizer who commits to chasing after their big desire, even though it fucks with the life that they have already built. this archetype doesn't care about what is typical or expected and instead charts a new course towards a big dream, vision, ambition, or intention, one that reflects their own values and integrity.

the fool's desire propels the entire story of the major arcana forward. every time a new obstacle is reached, a new lesson is learned, a new transition is needed, the fool's desire serves as their north star, their internal compass, their guiding force that pushes them to keep going. this isn't rebellion for rebellion's sake, isn't about disrupting their quiet happy life just for the hell of it. this definitely isn't cranky, gratuitous self-destruction. instead, the fool has identified something that they can't live with out, and are willing to do whatever it takes and break whatever rules they have to in order to make that dream come true.

the fool wants, needs, to make their own way.

words can be tricky, so if the word rebellion isn't doing it for you here, consider: ambition, disruption, independence, courage, disobedience, defiance, nonconformity, determination, yearning, purpose, liberation. the fool has and is all of these things, and more.

and all of these things are part of a rebellious spirit, and rebellious actions.

of course, the fool isn't the only defiant rebel or dream-seeker in the tarot — not by a long shot. this newsletter is actually named after two of my favorite tarot rule-breakers: the fool, and the devil. depending on your perspective and experience, the devil is a question-asker, a star-crafter, a trickster, a thief, a tempter, a wild child, and so many other things besides. the devil pushes us to consider who or what is in control, what we are bewitched by, what we have given ourselves over to, or what we are revolting against. it's an archetype of shadow and fire, of secrets and seduction, of the fine line between obedience and surrender.

as ever, these archetypes contain multitudes.

but what the fool and the devil have in common is their willingness to do what is unexpected, to listen to the beat of their own heart and the fire in their own blood, to push through discomfort in order to get what they want. devils and fools don't mind if others don't understand them, if their dreams and longings seem strange, if their willingness to be different sets them apart, or if their journey costs them something.

devils and fools know that breaking rules ultimately sets us free.

and these days, right now, breaking rules is incredibly important. not only because it disrupts the status quo, and slows down the endlessly churning wheels of capitalism, but because it reminds us to think for ourselves. fascists love when we quietly defer to their ever-changing demands, because it means that they can do as they like without interruption. but when we have the ability and the strength to challenge what we see, to question what we're told, to push back on rules we do not want to follow, it gums up the works, and forces those in power to defend their actions or change their tune.

we all have different roles in the resistance. we all have different skills to utilize, resources to offer, parts to play. some of these roles are visible, inspirational, challenging, and dangerous. some of these roles are quiet, discreet, supportive. some of these roles ensure that we have accurate information, necessary resources, quicksilver focus in the present. and some of these roles are slow and intentional, creative, helping us build the kind of world that we want to see in the future.

all of this matters. regardless of how your rebellion looks and feels, regardless of the role that you find yourself in, having a healthy relationship with intentional disobedience will help you step into your role with more courage, purpose, and even pleasure.

so what if you can't make yourself do it? what if the fool's desire is too big and scary to chase after? what if the devil whispering in your ear is telling you that breaking rules is too dangerous, that it will cost too much? what if the discomfort of rebellion is so intense that breaking rules feels like it makes you literally unsafe?

if you're someone who was raised in a high-control environment, or if you're someone who thrives by succeeding in fast-paced, high-demand situations, you might find the very notion of disobedience wildly distasteful. it can seem inappropriate, unseemly, to go against the grain, to draw attention to yourself, to fail to live up to expectation.

and if you're someone who prides yourself on doing things correctly, on being good, disobedience might make you feel physically ill, might get your heart racing, might feel like the worst thing you could possibly do. just the notion of breaking a rule might seem like it's going to put your health or safety or future at risk.

and friend, i get it. obedience and subservience is highly rewarded in our current society, by design. civility and politeness and following the rules, especially if you're white and cis, can offer a substantial amount of protection. we have been conditioned to obey since we were children — and those lifelong habits can be tough to break.

but resistance is uncomfortable. disobedience is uncomfortable. rule-breaking is uncomfortable. a lack of comfort is not the same as a lack of safety.

yes, of course there are ways that rebellion can be deeply unsafe. if you're attaching yourself to trees in protest or going up against armed riot police or serving as a whistleblower to a big corporation, you are quite literally putting your physical and mental health on the line. this is absolutely a risky kind of rebellion, a level of disruption that requires careful planning and backup plans and support systems to offer necessary protection.

but most of the roles in resistance are not unsafe at this dramatic of a level. they simply require us to be inconvenienced, or uncomfortable, or to do something that maybe isn't our absolute favorite. they require us to show up, and keep showing up, even on days when we're tired or it's annoying or somebody we don't like is going to be there too.

don't misunderstand me here. we don't need to necessarily force ourselves into a role that is so deeply miserable for us that we constantly put it off or even fail to show up — committing to something you know you hate probably isn't going to really help anyone, because it probably won't last.

but we do need to be brave, and show up in realistic ways, and be willing to be a little uncomfortable. we do need to carefully consider what we're being told to do by systems and authorities, and why we are being told to do it, and who it benefits if we obey without question. we do need pay attention to which truths are being hidden, and which lies are being sold to us. we do need to practice challenging authority and pushing back against institutions, to not blindly follow whichever white man yells at us next.

and we do need to consider what rebellion looks like for us as individuals, so that we can support our own continued disobedience in the face of fascism. your rebellion might not look like chaining your body to a bulldozer — but that doesn't mean that it isn't still critically important.

there are plenty of ways that you can dig more deeply into this topic, and consider your own personal insights, needs, and challenges around disobedience, breaking rules, and rebellion. and if this is something that you'd love to do with a community, if you could use some help and support for your investigation, or if this is a particularly difficult subject for you to consider, i would love to invite you to join us for rebel rebel, my upcoming tarot container for embracing disruption.

for fourteen days in a private section of my discord server, i'll share a daily tarot card, reflection questions, discussion prompts, suggested readings, and general insights to kick us off — and you'll be encouraged to explore, consider, and if you like, share your thoughts on how rebellion looks, feels, and manifests for you. we'll talk about times you've broken rules, archetypes that represent your expression of rebellion, things that scare you about disruption, and so much more. by the end of this container, you'll have a clearer picture of how to take care of yourself as you strive to break rules, as well as a better understanding of what you can do on a consistent basis to fight back.

maybe your rebellion is like the fool's, a big leap of faith that sees you trying something completely wild and unexpected in a loud, public way. maybe your rebellion is like the devil's, subtle and subversive behind the scenes. or maybe your rebellion is another archetype altogether: the curious page of wands, or the creative empress, or the ever-questioning hierophant. rebel rebel can help you figure it out, and lean all the way in.

it's okay if you're brand new to tarot, and it's okay if you decide that you don't want to share anything with the group. rebel rebel is open to all, and we'd love to have you join us in whatever capacity you can.

whether you're able to participate in this container or not, i sincerely hope you'll think through the risks and rewards of rebellion, consider how you're navigating discomfort, and identify places that you might be able to push yourself to do something out of your comfort zone.

it will take all of us, shoving at a thing from all sides, to bring it down. we need you, and your gifts, to show up and to show up and to keep showing up.

stay brave and stay strong out there, friends. we've got this.