one day at a time.
friends, today gets to be heavy.
my wife (!) jeanna and i returned from a truly magical honeymoon yesterday, exhausted and grateful, jet-lagged and craving home. i'll write more about our trip eventually: sour oranges and flamenco dancing, delicious wine and easy conversation, exploration and deep rest. dreaming and imagining, planning and hoping. wondering what our future will be, and how we can care for our beloveds and communities in the years to come.
but for today, for now, i simply wanted to say: today gets to be heavy, but i'm glad you're here, and i'm here, and we're here together. and i hope you can show yourself kindness and grace today, whatever that may mean for you personally, whatever that may look like.
change is a marathon, not a sprint.
here in the united states, we're collectively bracing for impact. meta has already vowed to be less safe for queer people, tiktok's future is unknown (but the vibes already feel off over there post-blackout), and trump is likely signing new and horrifying executive orders as we speak. wildfires and ceasefires, rising prices and building storms. i don't know all that the days ahead will bring — but i do know that we'll face them together, and that we must allow our rage, sorrow, grief, and fear to be co-present with courage, honesty, imagination, and joy.
i'm not an expert in resistance or activism or organizing, in history or political science or even dystopian literature — but i do know what it means to cultivate a spirit of rebellion, and what it means to deliberately carve a new path forward. i do know what it means to love deeply and truly, with accountability and generosity in equal measure. i do know what it means to extend care when possible, and to receive help with grace, and to include community in long-term dreaming.
and i do know that things like laughter, rest, creativity, expression, play, joy, connection, exploration, and spirituality will all be essential as we navigate whatever the months and years to come will include. don't feel guilty for needing rest, craving joy, delighting in laughter, and finding moments of lightness. these things are good, and human, and important. the powers that be want us tired, and sad, and defeated — don't let them win by surrendering fully to despair.
so: how are you taking care of yourself today? what tenderness can you show to your bruised heart, your exhausted body, your frustrated mind, your tender spirit? how can you make space for wonder, connection, delight, pleasure, creativity, comfort?
a few suggestions, if you need them:
- log off. i'm not generally a fan of telling people to avoid information or participate in media blackouts — i think it's critically important that we know what's going on, and that capitalism thrives when we are ignorant or distracted. but if you find yourself trapped on social media, frantically scrolling for hours or breathlessly devouring every rumor and blind item you see, do yourself a favor and plug your phone in somewhere far away from yourself for a bit. the next 24 hours will be stressful, and you don't need to monitor every breaking news alert just to say that you did. check in occasionally, or ask a friend to text you if something major happens, but try to take intentional breaks from being Obsessively Online.
- pull some tarot cards. i have lots and lots of tarot spreads available to help support you, and i also wrote a new one for today. grab your deck, shuffle well, and pull one card for each position:
card one / something you can begin. what can you start today, or do right now? what might benefit from some initiation or imagination energy? what do you want to activate, either internally or externally?
card two / something you can return to. what can you go back to today, or revisit in this moment? what do you already know, that might serve you well right now?
card three / something you can prepare. what can you do today that might make tomorrow a little easier or a little sweeter? what gift can you give to your future self?
- dream long-term. what are your big hopes for 2025, and what can you do to offer yourself structure, support, intentionality, accountability in achieving those ambitions? are there things you want to learn, invest in, discover, or deepen this year? my path keeps bringing me back to grief and food medicine as community care, so this year i'm taking solidarity apothecary's herbalism, PTSD & traumatic stress course, which i think will be an incredibly useful companion to the good grief network FLOW facilitation training that i completed last year. i highly recommend both programs, but if neither are your cup of tea, i'll also be running the grove: six months collective creative devotion with my wife jeanna kadlec. if you're interested in making creativity and spirituality a big part of your 2025, if you're craving rich and engaged community, please consider joining us!
- create. you don't have to paint the mona lisa or chef up a five-course meal, but doing something playful and engaging can be a beautiful way to settle your nervous system and give yourself a bit of creative freedom today. print out some coloring pages, start a new knitting project, mix up a simple body scrub, do some free writing in your journal, try a new recipe, or do something else that feels creative, expressive, silly, new, or fun for you. need a tarot-inspired direction? don't forget that submissions are still open for the rebis' devil issue, which i'm editing! send us your pitch!
- move your body. whether it's a ten-mile hike, a few minutes of light chair yoga, or something else entirely, movement can help you stay present and find a bit of calm. pace around your home, stand on your porch and do some gentle stretching in the fresh air, do some jumping jacks, walk or run through your local park, hit the gym, or whatever else your body enjoys. even a few moments of breathwork can have a positive impact.
- read a book. i maintain a bookshop packed with recommendations, and there are also lots of great non-fiction book lists out right now if you are in a space to learn and prepare.
- reach out & show up. who else do you know who might be having a tough day today? send a text or an email to a beloved friend, say hello in your favorite discord server or digital space, and check in on folks you know who have been going through it lately or for whom today might feel particularly activating. if you have a few extra dollars, donate to one of the many displaced families from the california fires. if your local food pantry or community organization is accepting volunteers, sign up for a shift or a training session. if you have the physical space, invite some friends over to be together in whatever capacity everyone can be. (sometimes my friends all sit in our living room and we each play our respective video games. it's awesome.)
remember that it's okay to rest or play or slow down when you need to. there's a big difference between taking a needed break to support yourself and checking out entirely. rest is necessary and important, just as joy is necessary and important.
don't deprive yourself of good things, of pleasure or quiet moments or play — but make sure you come back to the work when you're ready. we need you awake, attentive, and active.
“One of the great liabilities of history is that all too many people fail to remain awake through great periods of social change. Every society has its protectors of status quo and its fraternities of the indifferent who are notorious for sleeping through revolutions. Today, our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.”
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
let's face the challenge of change together, one day at a time.
Member discussion