on creation & creativity

hello, friends. i saw a post a few moments ago calling this a "week where decades happen," and i couldn't agree more. governments and regimes collapsing, potentially devastating SCOTUS cases, an insurance CEO getting gunned down that has managed to unite americans more than basically anything else in decades... it's been a lot.

it's important to acknowledge that all of this upheaval and stress often has a physical cost, even if we aren't directly involved. indeed, my health has been all over the place, as has the health of my podcast co-hosts, which meant that both CARD TALK and CALL YOUR COVEN took unplanned hiatuses this week. i (and we) appreciate your understanding, and hope you'll find value in both sets of archives while new episodes are in the works.

with all that's happening, and been happening, and will continue happening, i've been thinking about my personal anchors and foundations: the consistent acts that help me stay focused, that allow me to feel steady even as the world around me shakes. it's not foolproof; nothing is. yet in my most disorienting moments this week, i came back to writing, to creativity, and to tarot. the cards, the words, the ways that creative expression has helped me remember myself, all served as deeply necessary anchors this week.

as i reflect on 2024, as i prepare for 2025, as i think about the various containers and experiences i'll be hosting and facilitating, i feel a lot of anticipation. reflection and exploration, creativity and spirituality, grief and connection, all feel vital right now — and as tired as i feel, i'm also deeply energized and inspired by all that is ahead.

i hope that the following words offer you some pathways into yourself, some ideas to explore and consider and chew on. let's get into it.

sometimes when i'm profoundly physically exhausted, words simply won't come. i have trouble writing, trouble speaking, trouble articulating what i think or want or need. it can be frustrating, and scary, to lose my language even a little bit.

but most of the time, it's like all i have are words: bubbling up, demanding that i open up my notes app or find a journal or run to my computer so that phrases and questions and ideas don't slip away before i can pin them to something. i'll be trying to cook, or run errands, or (as so often happens) actually take my own advice and rest a little, and the words keep coming anyway. essay topics, tarot spreads, or just collections of sentences that feel beautiful and important, fragments that i trust i'll find a home for later.

i was laughing with a dear friend the other day about how this is what it is to be mercurial, or mercury-ruled: to serve as a whirling dervish of questions and answers, to be constantly examining a thing from all angles, to never quite settle into an idea fully, to find magic in constant intellectual movement and quests for discovery. it's exhilarating, and exhausting, to live in the questions.

what this has meant for me, as a mercurial creator and teacher, is that i often internally resist the label of expert and prefer instead to teach and learn in equal measure: to host conversations and containers, to create opportunities for deep reflection and imagination, to lead people through dozens of questions and encourage us all to look at a thing every which way. curiosity, wandering between worlds, letting magic lead, is my preference, and my gift.

with all of this in mind it makes sense that, to me, both creation and creativity can become deeply spiritual things, if and when we want them to be.

the act of building, developing, manifesting, constructing, tweaking, editing, producing: this is creation. the bones and the blood, the foundations and the rafters, the structural supports and the delivery methods. creation is the act of making something tangible, of taking it from the mind to the hand.

cards like the magician (innovative ideation), the empress (abundant outpourings), the emperor (protective integrity), strength (devoted ambition): these can speak to the power of plucking something from our thoughts and putting it somewhere that others can see it, celebrate it, organize it, build upon it. the imagination, expression, protection, and discipline it takes to dream something up and then actually will it into existence.

there's a magic to this sort of transmutation, the ability to translate idea or thought into tactile, physical expression. alchemy can feel like a word that means too much to mean anything, but in this sense i like it: a process of transforming longing and desire into something we can fully, literally embrace; of allowing something to find a new form through a strange and magical act.

so where does that leave creativity? aren't they the same? isn't creativity required for creation? yes — and also not necessarily. (there's that mercurial vibe i was talking about.)

creativity itself can be a potent force: a spark that becomes a wildfire. but i think when people dream about being creative, expressing creativity, living a creative life, or working as a creative professional, they're often dreaming about the end result, about having something to show for it. a thing we can point to as the fruits of our labors, like a published book, a piece in a gallery, a song on the radio. the creation, one that may (or may not) require intense creativity to... well, create. output, as my beloved would say.

but creativity itself is something that doesn't necessarily have a polished end goal in mind. creativity itself can be simply about expression, about joy, about the pride we feel when we find just the right word or just the right color or just the right texture or just the right chord; when the amorphous idea that's bubbling on the tip of our tongue becomes something that lives and breathes in this world. when our idea actually makes it to the page in time, and doesn't lose anything in translation.

creativity itself can be about connection, about showing a piece of ourselves to another person, about vulnerability and tenderness, about being brave enough to try. but it can also be about the relationship we develop to our own curiosity and clarity, about the questions we find and explore internally and externally, about the mediums we treasure and the ones we are still discovering. and living creatively, letting creativity itself tangle up in our daily adventures and the mundane routines that support our life, isn't just about always having something that we can sell or display — it's instead about allowing the spirit of creativity to inhabit our world in a way that is accessible, easeful, real.

creativity doesn't always look like the fiery, energetic spark of the ace of wands, the bold independence of the chariot, the celebratory triumph of the six of wands, the overflowing satisfaction of the ten of cups. sometimes it looks like the three of pentacles, working with what we have. sometimes it looks like the five of cups, letting ourselves feel the big feelings. sometimes it looks like the two of swords, thoughtfully choosing our focus. and sometimes it looks like the fool, wondering where our desire will lead us and allowing ourselves to brave enough to find out.

sometimes creativity lives in the delicate balance between the empress and the emperor: the wildness and the structure, the expansion and the restriction.

which is just to say: it's very much okay if your relationship with the idea of creation is different than your relationship with creativity — especially when it comes to the ways that these forces intersect with the spiritual.

creativity, creation, and spirituality feel so woven together for me that i'm hardly sure how to talk about one without the other. my spiritual life, simple whispered prayers and my magically-mundane daily rituals and my i am the altar approach almost always open the door for inspiration. spirit consistently answers me in the form of ideas and suggestions, which includes things i can (or even should) make.

yet those creatively-born visions can quickly become creations: things i might give away or sell, things that were designed for others to use in their own practices. some of this is because i'm a disabled small business owner living in a capitalist hellscape, and i have to make things to sell in order to pay my bills. but most of it is simply how i'm wired, patterns i've had since i was young, a love of mutual discovery and creative riffing and strange, insert your personal magic here offerings.

to be clear, i don't think that one approach is somehow better than another, that it's somehow creation versus creativity, or that spirituality must be part of the equation. we're all different. yet it feels so important to acknowledge that there is something healing and important and stirring in making something and showing it to other people, in allowing ourselves to be witnessed or celebrated as a result of something we've made. i think it's deeply, beautifully human to create something that matters to us and then want to allow others into the thing, to see them connecting with it, to allow the thing we made to open up doorways and pathways and windows to other ideas, other connections, other expressions.

it's why the empress, the three of wands, the ten of pentacles, are such potent energies: because there is such satisfaction, such deep joy, in sharing what we make. whether for profit or pleasure, so many of us have a desire to be witnessed in one way or another: through our art, through our clothing choices, through our words, through our lived values, or through any other means of creative expression and creative reality.

and i think sometimes, when the creativity we've explored leads to a creation that we use for connection, it can lead to a delicious kind of spiritual satisfaction. it's why creative living can be a goal in and of itself, something to strive for that's based in relationship and reciprocity rather than productivity or word counts or deadlines: because it can combine all three of these concepts into a gorgeous, magical, ever-changing whole.

my point here is that creative living, having creativity woven throughout our days, allowing creative spaces and activities and thoughts to exist without expectation, can be about something different than creation — or at the very least, that creativity doesn't always have to result in a clear creation. this can be about building a beautiful, rich, decadent relationship with creativity itself, whether you see this as a muse, an aspect of self, a creative spirit or deity, or something entirely different.

and in our current world, as we consider what the next months and years might hold, i think having a personal, robust relationship with our own creativity will be more powerful and necessary than ever.

what does creative living look like, for you? what does it mean to invite creativity into your daily life, to allow space for creativity to live and breathe on a consistent basis? what might it look like to see creativity and creation as distinct things, to allow creativity to be a winding road with no destination rather than a road race based in competition and finish lines?

i think that your creative life depends entirely on who you are. play can be an incredible creative outlet, with solo gaming or group adventures, with video games or board games or tabletop games, exploring a new world or building one from scratch. movement can be creative, especially something that allows for expression like dance or wandering through a forest and choosing every step with devotion. singing and expression can be creative, through composition or harmonizing, spoken word or poetry, just speaking out loud or singing along with a favorite song. hobbies can be creative, whether they feel expressive on their own (like painting or sculpture or fiber arts) or connect you to outside creative energies (like going to museums, participating in a sports league, or brainstorming about local activism initiatives). i'm sure there are dozens of other iterations, more than i could possibly name here.

my own daily creativity often comes through cooking, making up meals based on whatever i find in the fridge, or choosing a new recipe and gathering the necessary ingredients (before inevitably making that recipe my own with adaptations and riffs). even the simple acts of prepping our coffee each night or choosing which spices to throw in our eggs in the morning can be creatively charged, or creatively inspired, resulting in an act that is both creative and spiritual.

which is just to say: creative living doesn't have to be complex, or expensive, or elaborate, or demanding. it doesn't have to look or feel a particular way. it can be as creation-oriented as you want, as spiritually-oriented as you need. but recognizing what creativity can offer you, and the ways that you thrive when you allow yourself to enjoy creativity for its own sake, can be a transformative shift.

if you are thinking about what this might all look like for you specifically, if you're thinking about what this might mean for you as we prepare for the turning of the wheel and the start of a new year, i have a tarot spread that might help.

card one: your creativity itself. what is the spirit of your creativity? what does creativity mean to you as a concept, a sensation, a drive? what does your creativity feel like?

card two: your favorite kinds of creations. what form or shape does your creativity like to take? what are your preferred mediums, methods, expressions, when it comes to creative work and play? what kinds of creations do you love to build?

card three: where creativity becomes spirituality. where do your creativity or creative drive and your spirituality overlap, intersect, tangle up? what is the crossroads at which your creativity and your spirituality meet? how does one serve or feed the other?

your creative and spiritual lives are ultimately your own, and for some this may be a very private notion. but if you've been craving creative community, if your creativity feels deeply spiritual, if your creative practice has felt out of reach lately and you'd like to prioritize that practice in 2025, please consider this your personal invitation to the grove: a six-month container for creative devotion, hosted by myself and my partner, author and astrologer jeanna kadlec.

regardless of whether or not you participate in this upcoming experience, i sincerely hope that you'll allow yourself the gift of creative living, in 2025 and beyond. consider what that might look like for you, what it might feed in you, how it might anchor you.

how might intentional devotion to creativity and creative living help you expand, spiritually and otherwise? how might it offer you an anchor in the new year? how might it help you see yourself more clearly, dream more fully, act more authentically?