march 2026: three of cups // sharing the rain

hello, friends. february was an absolute doozy of a month, and i know that as we move into march, you might be feeling a lot of intense and overwhelming feelings. i'm right there with you, in hope and grief both, and want to remind you that the the times are urgent and sometimes that means we need to slow down. yes, fighting back and staying informed and caring for your neighbors is important — and you also still have to drink water and eat meals and take your meds and get sleep and hug your loved ones and make art. all of it matters.

for 2026 we are exploring the suit of cups and water: the tarot's story of the heart. this is relationships and connections, intuition and infatuation, desire and dreams, love and magic and faith and curiosity and awe and hope. and as we explore the three of cups this month, i hope you'll find some powerful reminders of what we're actually fighting for, and what fighting can look like.

i'm glad you're here.

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last month i wrote about the two of cups, and mentioned that it can be a really tender card for people who are longing for romantic intimacy but haven't found it, or who are craving something really specific in a partnership but are afraid to pursue it. maybe that resonated with you, or maybe it didn't. but this month, we're moving into three of cups territory — and i'm here to tell you that this is a card that i personally have been super tender about for a lot of my time reading tarot.

if you're someone who has craved community but struggled to find it, someone who longs for close friends but has trouble with group intimacy, someone who feels like you're doing all the things to meet people but always seem to come up short, the three of cups might sting a bit. and if that's you, i see you. come hold my hand, and let's talk about it.

when i first started reading tarot, i was in a period of depression and deep loneliness. i was in a city that was still relatively new to me, married to someone with a demanding career and a lively social life, and was struggling to make friends. and over and over again, when i asked my cards about what to do or where to turn or how to care for myself in dark moments, i pulled the three of cups.

it pissed me off, frankly. didn't the cards know that i didn't really feel like i had people i could turn to? didn't the cards recognize how isolated and lonely i was? didn't the cards see that i wasn't the kind of person who made friends easily? why were they making fun of me? why were they telling me to lean on something i didn't have?

for years and years, the three of cups was one of my least favorite cards in the deck. i didn't know how to find people that i could be my whole self with — and i didn't really know how to talk to my cards, or the people that i did have in my life, about any of it. either i kept everything buttoned up tight and protected all of my tender vulnerabilities, or i shared too much and scared people away. i didn't really know how to be in reciprocal intimate relationships, and i found myself frequently hurt when navigating difficult conversations, feeling abandoned or rejected for my big feelings.

what a mess it all was. i'm grateful for therapy, and depression meds, and patient friends who have sat with me through some very dark times. i'm grateful for spaces that talked openly about building friend groups and queer community at those times, that helped me literally meet people (shout out to autostraddle's flawed-but-impactful a-camp and the gaggle project from the nancy podcast) and, also, i have worked really hard to intentionally build multiple friend groups that can withstand the hard things — friends who can be with me not only in times of celebration but also sadness, grief, fear, and anger. friends who can tell me when i'm doing great, who can also tell me when i'm screwing up.

the three of cups is frequently talked about as a card of chosen family and communal joy — but i want to expand this card to include all of the other emotions that spill out of us too, all of the feelings we experience in this messy business of being a human being. three is a number of outpourings and raw expression, of expansion and sensitivity, and it connects us with other people through what we share and make visible. and it's a number that isn't always super conscientious about how what we're sharing might impact the people that we're sharing with.

what happens when we make our heart visible to others? what happens when we let our tender feelings and dreams and raw desires spill out in a way that other people can see and feel? this is the work of the three of cups: the ability to be authentic, vulnerable, intimate, and fucking real, paired with the balancing act of being in respectful, reciprocal relationship.

sometimes relationships are messy. the three of cups knows that. it's part of the magic. this isn't just about singing or dancing in the rain — it's about sharing the rain, acknowledging these waters that fall where they will and are not always within our control.

if the ace of cups is the headwaters that form a river's source, and the two of cups is the estuary collision of two different bodies of water, the three of cups is rain falling from the sky and the dancing, singing, weeping, and connection that happens within those falling waters. it's the messy, expressive, imperfect magic of sharing feelings in a tangible, visible, experiential way. it's overflowing tears, splashing one another in play, holding each other through the storm.

we share our emotions and our feelings through song and dance, through laughing and crying, through raging and gnashing of teeth. think about the collective joy that occurs when we sing in a group; the collective energy that builds when we dance in a group; the collective purpose that expands when we rage and protest as a group; the collective release that shifts when we grieve in a group. shannon of the tarot diagnosis recently posted about the three of cups as collective effervescence, and i couldn't agree more — sometimes simply being around people who feel the same way that we do can heighten our own experience exponentially.

expression and emotion benefit so greatly from being shared. it's why i run community containers like river styx and the grove, it's why i encourage folks to read cards together collaboratively and study together in groups, and it's also why i talk about playing d&d so much. there is endless magic that can happen when we practice being vulnerable with each other, when we share big feelings and hard moments, when we let the rain reveal us to others.

because that's the thing about messy emotions — sometimes we express our feelings in a way that can hurt the person who is receiving it. feelings are not facts, and just because someone loves us doesn't mean they have to be our on-call therapist or indiscriminate cheerleader, or have to absorb whatever we fling their way. when we let our feelings recklessly surge out in a tidal wave, it can be hard for those who are on the receiving end of those feelings to find their way back to the surface.

relationships are tricky, and emotions are intimate, and the cultivation of raw expression can lead to complicated dynamics. sometimes we say things we don't mean, or treat an emotion like a truth. sometimes we have to adjust, acknowledge, or apologize.

the three of cups isn't about having people around who will show up for you without question all the time and validate every one of your opinions and drop everything any time you need a favor — it's about recognizing what we want to share, and what we are willing to receive, and how we move through the ever-changing waters of our own emotions. it's about being compassionate and generous, which sometimes means saying a hard thing or owning an ugly feeling or apologizing when we hurt someone. it's about honoring the reality of intimate relationships. and it's about being brave enough to recognize when we say something out of turn, or ask for a lot without ever giving anything back.

this shit is complicated. relationships are beautiful and magical things, and also require ongoing effort and honesty. which is why sometimes, the three of cups can feel painful or unwelcome, even as it's often depicted as a card of joy. emotions are part of authentic relationships — even the ugly ones. we have to learn how to navigate all of it together, even as the rains continue to fall.

the rain is absolutely pouring these days. emotions are heavy and hard for everyone i know — and sometimes it can feel like we're drowning in it.

but it's easier to hold anything in company. i say this as someone who is both incredibly private and a true introvert: sharing, being in space with others, letting yourself be known, and offering up what you feel is worth the risk. it is so much easier to be in the rain when you have someone there to help support your umbrella, to point out puddles, to catch you if you slip, even to laugh with you at the absurdity of it all.

it's taken me a long time to learn to navigate friendships and group dynamics as an adult, to understand how different people bring out different sides of us, to celebrate what i can be to one person and how someone else can be something completely different to them. i still mess up a lot, or have feelings that i know aren't really fair, or have to ask for assurance that a relationship means as much to another person as it does to me. it's an ongoing journey, a constant learning process.

but it's all three of cups work. and i think part of what my cards were trying to tell me all those years ago is that chosen family doesn't just fall into your lap — it requires both vulnerability and humility, a willingness to share and listen and show up and ask for help. it takes naming the rain, acknowledging the water, not pretending that we don't feel all that we feel. we can't have deeply intimate relationships if we aren't able to let other people see our hearts, with all of their bruises and scars and tenderness. and in the same way, we have to leave space for the bruises and scars and tenderness of those we love, too, and allow them to make their own mistakes and messy outpourings all the same.

having people that we can be raw and emotional with is a potent and powerful balm to this world. it's how we get through all of the chaos and violence and fear and uncertainty that we sit with each day. it's how we keep making art and magic and change and vision. and it's how we resist the temptation to go numb or ignore our emotions completely.

we can't do this alone. we need to have people who can make us laugh until we cry, and also who can be with us while we cry until we laugh. we need people who will share the rain, who will stand in the rain with us. we need people who will cherish our messy feelings and help us move through them.

and we all need people who can reflect our magic back to us, in moments when we can't find it within ourselves.

this month, pay attention to the expressions and outpourings of your heart. pay attention to who you feel like you can be messy and raw with, and to the ways that you hold space for their messiness too. pay attention to how you feel after you share and express, to what it means to offer your heart to someone.

and, also — remember that expression can happen through art, through writing, through dance, through movement, through tears, through laughter. remember that creativity can also help you move emotions through your body. remember that tarot can be a companion for the emotions that you aren't sure how to share with other people, or a tool for communicating what you feel.

who stands in the rain with you these days? what would it mean to cherish your big emotions, instead of locking everything up tight? how might it change your relationship with your feelings if you gave them space to breathe and move and dance and sing and wail? and how could you give yourself a more consistent pressure valve for those intense emotions, one that will empower you to celebrate all that you feel alongside the people who love you?

sending you wisdom, courage, passion, and care this month, friends. we are stronger together.