july 2025: seven of pentacles // remembering the roots

hello, friends. we've made it to july.

if your june was anything like mine, it was fast and wild and devastating. i sincerely hope that wherever and whenever and however this missive finds you, that you're somewhere safe and clean and cozy, with good food and whatever medicine you need and people who love you for who you are. i hope you're still showing up for the things that matter, finding ways to consistently fight as well as ways to rest and take comfort.

i also hope that today's extra-long essay can offer you a bit of ease, a bit of assurance, a bit of energy for all that this month may bring.

a few reminders: my second book TAROT SPREADS is out this very week! WILD! i've got a handful of great events lined up but i am also continuing to book podcasts and interviews and events, so keep an eye on my instagram for announcements as things land in the world. CARD TALK is back with a new episode on what tarot can offer you, CALL YOUR COVEN's july forecast is out, and my flash sale on gold annual subscriptions is still going strong for another week (some folks had technical difficulties so i'm making lots of space for people to snag this discount!).

and! if you want to join us for everyday spreads, which begins today over in my discord server, upgrade your subscription or join the conservatory. a fresh discord link is at the bottom of this email for paid members.

now let's step into the energy of our card for this month: the seven of pentacles.

the question of "what is my work worth?" is one that a lot of self-employed artists and teachers have to consider even in the best of times — especially if our products or services fits into those sticky "optional" or "luxury" categories. when the economy hits a slump, this question takes on even more weight, and requires both discernment and perspective to stay the course and keep going — or to make the necessary adjustments required for our own survival.

there's an argument often made in times like these that anything which isn't an essential need — a.k.a. food, water, shelter, safety, healthcare, sleep, etc — should be stripped away; that money should only be spent on our most basic physical needs in times of crisis. and indeed, when jobs are lost or prices are rising, these essentials are often financially prioritized in a way that is wildly understandable and practical.

and yet. physical survival is not the only metric of success or contentment, and resources do not only have to be spent in service of those most practical necessities. even in the most dystopian fiction or the most harrowing news, those moments of hope that we glimpse are always found in the magic of humanity itself: beauty, creativity, connection, spirituality, compassion, love, joy. everything is better with a full belly and a safe place to sleep, no one is denying that — but to ignore that art and music and laughter and intimacy are also essential to our survival is to minimize the varied and different parts of our aliveness.

for many of us, including myself, that is where the worth of our work lies: in reminding you how to be human, how to be alive, how to stay connected to that vibrancy and magic that holds you together. these kinds of needs may be harder to quantify, but that does not make them less valuable. for people who understand what it takes to not drown in overwhelm, to not fully disengage from the challenges of this world, to not lose themselves to hatred or groupthink or apathy, these kinds of needs are also requirements.

what does it mean for something to be essential, anyway?

this question, "what is the value of the thing?" is one of many questions that live at the root of seven energy in general, and the seven of pentacles in particular: what is the purpose, the driving force, the question beneath the question that sustains this particular pursuit or gives this particular thing a reason to keep existing? what is the point? why should this work be here, and continue to be here? and more broadly: why do we do the things we do, invest in the things we invest in, build the things we build? what motivates our choices, and lets us keep going?

and when it comes to the personal matters of what feeds us, what supports us, what sustains us, how do we discern what we want from what we need, the essential from the luxurious?

because i have a book coming out in a week (!) and have been doing a number of interviews and teach-ins and podcasts, i've been lucky enough to receive a lot of feedback recently. receiving feedback on my own impact is incredibly fortifying, energizing, and motivating, a necessary resource in this moment — especially since small business owners and artists are so often shamed for promoting ourselves and shamed for talking about politics in a lose-lose scenario that ultimately helps no one.

from generous friends and wonderful clients and early readers, i have been reminded that my work is both grief-informed and trauma-aware, that my approach is expansive and resonant and moving and clarifying, that my courses are transformative and supportive and inspired, that i have a gift for translating the magical and divine into accessible truths.

i've even been told that my work is essential.

it's humbling to write all of this out for you. yet imposter syndrome is real. the longing for validation alongside the fear of taking up space is complex. the worry that my work isn't helpful enough is heavy.

how to hold all of this at once? how to honor the very real truths being reflected towards me, that this work is literally helping people navigate our impossible world even when it worry it isn't enough? how to balance the resources that i make with the resource that i myself have become? how to ensure that i am resourcing myself fully, even when it comes to the things that i wish i didn't want or need?

the messy truth is that our resources also need resourcing. our healers also need healing. our artists also need artistry. i'm only human, and i can't pour from an empty cup any more than you can. if i want to refill my cup, i have to be honest about what that cup contains, and what it requires.

the seven of pentacles offers medicine as we think about these ideas: the ways that we understand our relationships to resources, the assessment of what we have and what we need, the ways that we need resources while also serving as resources, and also the reality of what is possible for us to build. the truth of growth, the reality of lack, the willingness to engage with what's hard or uncomfortable or vulnerable about resources so that we can address our challenges head-on.

seven as seeking, searching, questioning, questing, diving deep, digging around, pursuit and passion, authenticity and assessment. earth as the body, the experience of embodiment, the truth in our bones, the resources that sustain us, the pleasure and power that come with reclaiming our humanity. together, these pieces combine into a card of acknowledging what we want and what we need and what we have and what we hold. the seven of pentacles asks us not to be ashamed of having a body and a human life, of needing things to care for ourselves, of continuing to do the hard work of honestly reckoning with the reality of being a hopeful person in a broken world.

this card can push us to think about the resources that we have the most trouble really engaging with, really sitting with, really acknowledging. resources like physical health, privilege, access, time, space, or comfort can be deeply tender ones, especially when those resources are lacking. and for me personally, beyond concerns of worthiness or value, the seven of pentacles often ends up being about money, and my frustrating relationship with it.

i don't usually talk about money publicly, mostly because i was actively discouraged from talking about money growing up: money was evil, of the world, and it was best to pretend it didn't exist. i didn't learn about money through conversations and education and empowerment, but instead through mistakes, embarrassment, and shame. and while the element of earth and the suit of pentacles aren't only about money, as i've written so many times before, it does not behoove us to avoid uncomfortable resources like money completely either.

it does not help me, in my effort to more fully resource myself, to deny money's existence or my dependence on it.

so i'll tell you honestly that i live with a lot of money anxiety even at the best of times, and that it has been much worse in recent months. i'll tell you that this anxiety sometimes impacts my ability to see and appreciate the real value in my work, and that the joy of receiving positive feedback has been a balm for that anxiety. i'll tell you that i've had to sit with everything that those truths activated for me, the ugly and the messy of it all, and simultaneously recognize my own hard-won growth over the years around my relationship with money.

and i'll tell you that in allowing others to reflect my own value back to me, while also asking people what more they might want from me, a new pathway forward has opened up — one that honors my roots while creating even more space to grow.

resources come in all shapes and sizes. not everything is for everyone, and not everyone needs everything. it's on us as individuals to figure out what truly personally nourishes us, what we enjoy even if it's not deeply satisfying, what we can take or leave, what depletes us, and what might actually be causing harm or lack or pain. which resources are truly resourcing?

and also: it's not super helpful to act like things we truly need are just wants, or like everyone's wants and needs are the same. something that is a luxury to someone else might be a necessity to you. something you would prefer to never pay for might be someone else's livelihood. something that feeds and sustains your partner might not hold meaning at all for you.

the seven of pentacles is the work of interrogating the resources you truly want and need, and giving yourself permission to be honest about that instead of judging it. it's remembering your roots, and your resources, and recognizing their value instead of vilifying them for existing.

even if money doesn't feel great for me, i have to have it in order to survive in our capitalist society. even if i feel cringey about asking for, receiving, and sharing positive feedback on my work, i need to hold it so that i can keep going. for me these things are a need, whether i like it or not.

there are things that i want more, crave desperately without shame: i want to read at least 30 gorgeous things every day and send them to all of my friends and gush about our favorite lines. i want to take deep dive courses in herbalism and numerology and mythology, want to learn from other tarot teachers that i admire, want to travel for retreats and spend time talking to stars or pulling cards with incredible people. i want to cook for my friends, to garden and grow my own food and herbs, to experiment with new recipes and discover new flavors. i want to buy a few talismans, and get to know them. i want to play d&d as often as possible, making up new worlds and inhabiting new people and solving problems with tools i don't have access to in my human life. and i want to not worry about money every goddamn day.

i frame these beautiful things as wants because they feel luxurious to me — but in reality, they're needs. i need beautiful language and juicy ideas and brilliant minds in order to stay inspired and encouraged. i need to keep expanding my knowledge in order to stay sharp and energized, to know how to care for my clients and communities in impactful ways. i need to experience new things in order to feel personally nourished. i need collaborative creation and worldbuilding alongside people i adore and spiritual relationships in order to stay connected to real, actual magic. and i need to feel safe financially so that i can do all of the other things i need and want to do too.

maybe you have this too: a list of needs that you've disguised as wants. a set of wishes that are actually essential to who you are as a person. a deeply human catalog of longings and desires and hopes and dreams that allow you to be who you truly are, in all of your fullness and messiness and imperfect perfection, that you are pretending are optional for your survival. resources that you have attached shame to, or guilt to, or frivolity to, instead of understanding their importance to who you are as a person.

maybe this card, this month, is inviting you to stop framing your needs as discretionary, and your wants as superficial. maybe this is a chance for you to own your resourcing needs, so that you can actually fulfill them.

my students and readers are a resource for me, just as i am for them. we take care of each other, sharing information and ideas and observations and questions, discovering answers together, diving into the deeps and the truths together. and they never fail to tell me what they're craving, what they're hungry for, what would nourish and support them. so the other day, i asked them to be honest with me about what would help them, what i could do to show up for them in the coming months. it was an honest question, but it addressed several needs of my own: a need to offer resources to people who could really use them, and a need to create some additional financial security for myself.

to my shock and delight, a number of people told me they're ready for mentorship with me.

mentorship. a thing that's been on my wishlist for years, that i've dreamed of and hoped for and even created a waitlist for, but have put off actually opening up. this personal seven of pentacles moment was a deepening, a truth-telling, a reality check that i desperately needed: a reminder that that my current work has a lot of value, and/also that perhaps there are some folks for whom a different kind of container would be deeply supportive. that the intersection of what i want and what i need intersects with the wants and needs of my clients, too. that perhaps multiple cups can be filled at once.

this isn't an announcement, not yet — i plan to open mentorships later this month, and will send out notifications when i do. instead the point of this entire story, this entire essay, this entire wildly vulnerable set of truths that i am frankly a little nervous to send to all of you, is that sometimes our understanding of our resources changes, or deepens, or transforms when we're brave enough to really look at it. sometimes a foundational belief about something, or a foundational fear about something, prevent us from seeing the whole truth of that thing. sometimes that thing that we've been afraid to look at closely, like our relationship to money or the value of our work, holds the answer within the core of the question.

when we shove our fingers into the dirt and touch the roots of our resources and whisper our fears and our wants, it's amazing how truths begin to reveal themselves. we simply have to be brave enough to ask, ourselves and others, what the value of a thing truly is, and what is supporting its ongoing growth.

the seven of pentacles wants us not to be afraid of money, or resources, or needing things, or seeking answers, or craving assurance, or being honest about hard things. instead this is an energy of showing ourselves authentic love through the recognition of what we need to survive and to thrive, to have safety and also joy, to be our truest self whether we're fighting fascism in the streets or weaving stories of fantastical worlds with our pals.

you're allowed to want, and to need. you're allowed to adjust your resource flows so that they support who you are in this moment, especially if you are also a resource for other people. you're allowed to ask for help in seeing yourself clearly. and you're allowed to acknowledge what is working, or what isn't working quite the way that it used to, so that you can actually make necessary changes and continue to blossom.

as we move into july, i want you to think about what growth really means, and where the nourishment for that growth comes from. i want you to think about objective needs, and why we don't judge plants for needing food and water and sunlight and space and time and also, a little magic. i want you to let yourself need more than one thing, even if that need isn't identical to the needs of the people around you.

and i want you to let yourself want. i want you to let yourself dream bigger. i want you to let yourself imagine the kind of well-resourced future that would feel so good, so nourishing, so joyful, so safe, so supported. don't argue with yourself about whether or not it's possible or probably — just name it, honor it, listen to it.

i want you to write out your essential needs, without judgement. i want you to pay attention to what truly nourishes you, without making excuses or hiding those truths from yourself. i want you to acknowledge what you cannot do without, what truly makes you feel like your best and most empowered and most joyful self.

what would it mean to make space for the foundational resources that truly sustain you, and to celebrate them instead of vilifying them? how would it feel to allow your wants and needs to combine into one overflowing cup of nourishment?

thank you, truly, for being here. wishing you a bold, courageous, and well-resourced july.

a reminder that if you're a paid subscriber to this newsletter, or a member of the 3am.tarot conservatory, my new tarot spread container everyday spreads begins today in the sanctuary discord server! i'm sharing brand new two-card spreads intended for daily use, along with suggested adjustments to help you customize these spreads to best serve you. we'll discuss options, offer new ones, and share our readings, and i'd love for you to join us.

if you're a paid subscriber, scroll down for a fresh invite to the discord server! and if you're a conservatory member (who all receive a bonus set of planetary days spreads that you can't get anywhere else!), login on my website to find a discord invitation anytime.

and if you're one of the lucky folks who have already received your preordered copy of my second book, please tag me if you post on social media! i would love to hear about how you're enjoying it so far. (haven't had a chance to order your copy yet? you can do so right here, or head to your favorite local bookshop!)