february 2026: two of cups // when two waters converge

hello, friends, and welcome to february. deep breaths.

in a month that's often associated with valentine's day, romance, and a very particular definition of love, it feels fitting that we're going to be exploring the two of cups: a card that for many is the most romance-coded card in the deck. but as ever, i want to encourage you to think bigger, to go deeper, to imagine more. i want you to consider what else this card can hold, especially in a moment when the relationships that we have with one another and ourselves feel as important as they ever have. let's get weird, let's get queer, let's get messy. let's give this card a chance to be about so much more than just one strict definition of love.

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before we get into our card for the month, i want to remind you that my ten-week collective grief program river styx is open for enrollment. if you want to learn how to be with your grief and heavy feelings without drowning in overwhelm, if you're ready to transmute your grief for the world into fierce hope and sustainable, meaningful action, river styx is for you. we begin on february 6th, and would love for you to join us.

if you're trying to decide, or have questions, or just want to connect with fellow grievers, i'm hosting a river styx open house on monday, february 2nd from 7-8pm EST (zoom link here, no registration required!). would love to answer your questions and say hello!

now, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. shake out any stiffness or stickiness in your shoulders, your neck, your wrists, your hips, your knees. soften your jaw. drink some water. give yourself a hug.

let's talk about the two of cups.

love love love love love love love love love. dreaming of love. wishing for love. craving love. seeking love. performing magic for love. searching for love. praying for love. reaching for love. screaming out for love. tempted by love. falling in love. fearing love. avoiding love. denying love. pretending love isn't necessary. wishing love wasn't present. getting lost in love. fighting for love. drowning in love. consuming love. become consumed by love. raging in love. moving in love. grieving in or over love. pushing love away. running from love. running into love. returning to love. embracing love. devotion to love. laughing with love. crying with love. resting in love. playing in love. creating in love. collaborating in love. celebrating love. expanding in love. rejoicing in love. beginning in love. ending in love. learning in love. getting messy in love. living in love. loving love.

one cannot talk about the two of cups without talking about love. in my experience, as soon as this card comes up in a reading, talk inevitably turns to love and romance: specifically to partnership and sex and marriage, intimacy and vulnerability, monogamy and heteronormative expectations as well as polyamory and the queering of relationship structures. above all, i think we think about firsts: the intoxication of that first look, first conversation, first spark, first flirt, first blush, first omg-is-this-a-crush moment, first move, first date, first kiss, first big realization that this situation might upend your entire life.

the two of cups, for most folks, is the big heart eyes, the rush, the can't-stop-thinking-about-you energy. and i get it, truly — it's just so intoxicating, so captivating, so fun.

two is a number of partnership, duality, balance, connection, intimacy. it's intuitive and emotional, but it's also observant, perceptive, considerate, thoughtful. there's an essential energy of choice, of decision-making, of stepping solidly onto a particular path, of exploring distinctions and consistencies — and in the watery realm of the heart, in the cups suit of emotions and relationships and trusting our gut, this often translates into choosing someone, opening our hearts, or making heart-centered, emotion-forward decisions.

it's quite literally that will-they-won't-they, trying to decide how much to give and how much to hold back, testing the waters kind of energy that keeps us so invested.

and in a time of non-stop news and endless social media scrolls, in a moment when it seems like we could easily connect with other people in 20 different formats within five minutes, so many are still starved for real, vulnerable, joyful, authentic love. hungry for relationships, longing for community, dreaming of people that show up and understand and care.

but of course, this is all so much more than flirty banter or stumbling over words. just as the ace of cups is the overflow of water and emotions (of all kinds) that are already present and ready for movement, the two of cups isn't about a magical lightning bolt of love dropping into your lap. it isn't about some perfect person stumbling into your life in a meet-cute for the ages, who somehow fits seamlessly into your routine and meets all of your deepest needs without even trying.

the two of cups is actually about choosing an open heart, a curious intuition, a willingness to be vulnerable with ourselves and with someone else. it's about deciding to do the hard thing, the scary thing, and let yourself be seen. it's about making a commitment to the messy authenticity that lives within real relationships, and knowing that you're gonna screw up at some point. and it's about meeting somebody in the middle, instead of demanding that you never have to change or grow or stretch or try.

if the ace of cups is the headwaters, the source of a river, the gathering moisture that finds its own gravitational pull, then the two of cups is an estuary: a place where freshwater meets saltwater, where two things blend into a new thing while still maintaining their separate and distinct qualities.

when two different waters converge, when they become something else together, new things are possible. they collide, mingle, create an environment that is unique and interesting and can sustain a particular kind of life. a whole new ecosystem, only possible because of multiple contributions.

if you've ever been in a long-term relationship of any kind, if you've ever loved someone through various seasons of life and death and change, you know that you build your own language, your own bits, your own rituals, your own entire world. you blend and mingle, but you also challenge and adjust. the ecosystem of each relationship is its own thing, and it's tended and transformed every time you show up for that connection with authenticity.

it takes time to build an ecosystem with someone else. the first rush of attraction or interest or intimacy is not the same as the long-term effort of constantly showing up. yet in the moment of choosing to try, we leave other paths behind, and move from the realm of possibility into the truth of whatever comes next. in the commitment to seeing what happens, we stay in these ever-blending waters, and see what slowly emerges from the strange new depths.

exciting, nerve-wracking, uncertain, beautiful. making it up as we go. wondering what happens, what we do, what they do, who we all become. this is the joy and the wonder and the magic and the terror of the two of cups: the not knowing, the lack of control, the beckoning dreams, the hopes and wishes. the choice to move forward, even when the horizon remains murky.

of course, i remain myself. which means that i tend to emphasize, when i talk about this particular tarot card, that it doesn't just have to be about romance, or crushes, or getting married, or whatever. that romantic love isn't the only love that exists; that a heavy focus on romantic love as the pinnacle of relationship leaves out all of the other deeply necessary and wildly important kinds of love that make up a life.

i'm no stranger to romantic love, nor am i trying to deny how wonderful romantic love can be. i honestly believe that my wife jeanna and i were meant for each other — not because we're soul mates or twin flames or have loved each other in past lifetimes, but because we keep choosing each other, again and again. because we are better together, even when one of us is flailing or we both feel like we're failing. because we are committed to each other, even when everything around us feels shaky.

but i also am lucky enough to have very dear friends in my life, people for whom "friend" is not a big enough word. people that i care for dearly, that are part of my daily life, that i play with and cry with and laugh with and shoot the shit with. these, too, are soulmates. and what a joy, what a gift, to not have love siloed into one specific kind of container, sealed off and set apart, restricted to one person. what a delight, what a dream, to get to love so joyfully, so freely, so generously. what a relief, what a balm, to be able to receive love from many sources, to know that i am loved by multiple people, to have a whole chosen family to lean on and show up for and grow alongside.

it's the active and ongoing choosing, the intentional choice of it all, that makes these loves so powerful. not that these people are perfect, or that i'm perfect, or that nothing bad every happens and we always agree on every single thing. no, it's the choice to keep showing up, to keep working through things, to extend love and receive love, that makes it all so valuable and sustainable and mutual and intimate.

love can take so many forms, live in so many places — and thank fuck for that.

this tendency of mine to expand meanings of tarot cards isn't only for the so-called "negative" cards of the deck. (i do have a three of swords tattoo and a death tattoo, after all.) i want to constantly explore the depth and layers of every card in the deck, to push you to make these cards personal and messy and intimate. so when it comes to the two of cups, of course i find it particularly helpful to go beyond the "falling in love" definitions, to offer more, to consider alternatives.

the number two, and the element of water. cooperation, conflict, movement, stagnation. pushing and pulling, flowing and sinking. quiet contemplation, active conversation. sharing and balancing, opposing and diverging.

at its core, the two of cups is the messy and honest business of building relationships: connections with ourselves (in so many ways), connections with others (in all their forms), and also connections with aspects of who we are. our emotions, our desires, our hopes, our fears, our needs, our intentions, our memories, our futures.

yes, there can be ease and wonder and delight and anticipation — but there's also the inevitable friction and sensitivity, the opposition or insecurity, that comes up when we are building something new with someone else. all of this lives in the two of cups, too. and if you're someone for whom love is a sore subject, or if romance isn't the main thing on your mind right now, opening the two of cups up to being about the relationships that you have with people or places or animals or dreams or aspects of self can give this card a much wider range of possibility when it pops up in your readings.

this can be a card of friendship, of being seen more fully in a new place or by a new group of people. it can be a card of falling in love with a new place, a new home, a new path through the forest. it can be a card of choosing to chase after a big dream, of listening to your desires in a way that makes space for you to actually pursue them. it can be a card of deepening your devotion to your creative self, your spiritual guides or ancestors, your curiosity, your ambition, your softness, your fierceness, your sense of humor, your hope for the future, or yes, even your grief.

it can be a card of committing to living out your values in a particular way. it can be a card of showing up for intuitive work, or emotional exploration, or vulnerability within community. it can be a card of extension, of reaching out, of prioritization.

the two of cups can be so much, because love can be so much and take so many forms: this is a soft heart, an open heart, a willing heart, a curious heart. this is an evolving intuition, a deepening need, an unexpected or unplanned tug towards something or someone. this is falling into a dream, a truth, a story, a fantasy, a decision, a purpose, a path.

what is your heart trying to tell you? what are you ready to embrace? what are you swimming through, and what are you moving towards?

i've been writing a lot about grief lately, and i promise that this is not secretly an essay about grief. but i have to say that grief and love are two sides of the same coin, in that they both require us to be wildly honest with ourselves about what we long for, what we yearn for, what we hunger for. our grief exists because we love: it reflects our love, expresses our love, holds our love tight and close.

we can smother our grief, pretend it isn't there — just like we can try to hide our love, or try to deny our longing for it. but at the end of the day, the two of cups, grief and love, cravings and desires, are only really satisfied when we're brave enough to be vulnerable.

and that can be scary as fuck.

the two of cups requires courage. it requires knowing what we want and being willing to admit that we want it. it forces us to get real with ourselves, and to ask if we're ready to do what it will take to actually get what we want.

we might want to be rid of our messy, heavy feelings — but that requires us to be with the feelings, to get uncomfortable, to create space for movement. we might want a deep, profound, great romantic love in our lives — but that requires us to admit that real love is built in both ease and friction, in both fantasy and reality. we might want to be the kind of courageous person who can stand up for our neighbors and fight back against fascism — but that requires us to acknowledge our fears, and to practice doing scary things even when we're actively afraid.

and because of all of this, because of the courage and the intimacy and the choosing and the vulnerability and the balance and the blending, i really consider the two of cups to be a card of relationship, intentionality, and intimacy. not just in romance, but in all aspects of life.

what would it mean to devote yourself to creativity, to grief, to curiosity? what would it look like to devote yourself to hope, to magic, to joy? what would it mean to fall in love with community, with service, with meaningful action?

don't you see how the two of cups can represent you falling in love with all of these things and more? don't you see how much bigger this energy can be, how many different ways it can show up, how many lessons it has to offer us?

don't you see how fucking beautiful it is, to choose to fall in love with something or someone, in spite of all of the mess and uncertainty? to decide to tumble into love for yourself, for others, for the world, with hope and potential and desire?

dear friends, as we move into the second month of a year that has already felt a decade long, i want to urge you to expand your definition of love, romance, intimacy, vulnerability, care, tenderness. where is love in your life, your world, your daily actions? what holds you back from feeling love, from choosing love, from respecting love? what would it take for you to celebrate the big feelings instead of avoiding them, to recognize the ways that love demands vulnerability and intimacy and exposure? how does love already show up in you, for you, with you, through you?

i dare you to care so much that it eats you alive. i dare you to love so fiercely that you can't imagine life without it. i dare you to bring romance and joy into every part of your life, into every aspect of your creativity, into every one of your relationships.

i dare you to reject apathy, to reject complacency, to reject helplessness. what would it feel like to be all in on something, on several somethings? what would it mean to give yourself permission to be fiercely loving? what are you ready to fall in love with?

thank you for reading, for loving, for grieving, for choosing. keep those hearts and minds open; those claws and wits sharp. we are all in this together, and we've gotta keep going.

sending you love, ferocity, and relationship, friends.